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[Friday
April 22nd, 2005 at 3:29am] |
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mood |
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 restless |
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music |
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Nothing |
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... where it all begins again ...
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[Sunday
February 9th, 2003 at 3:37am] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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BT - Tsunami One & BT - The Hip Hop Phenomenon |
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Untitled #369,269
I think I care more than I should;
More than someone in my position should.
So torn between right and wrong.
But the feelings have been there... for so long
Express my doubt or cover my fears?
Open my eyes or suppress my tears?
Content but hurt, held back but fierce.
My heart so empty, my emotions pierced.
I care so much but I really shouldn't.
I crushed my thoughts, told myself I wouldn't.
I should just close my eyes and ignore these thoughts.
Pretend these internal battles were never fought.
Close my eyes, pretend not to feel;
Pretend all these obvious emothins are not real.
Someday my heart will wake up and say it's had it.
But until that day... I'm still an addict.
-Alithium-
February 09, 2003 03:36
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[Wednesday
August 28th, 2002 at 10:26pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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music |
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Tiesto - Close To You |
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close to you
-tiesto-
i wouldn't call it time well spent
repeating to myself again
find comfort in an endless stream of moments
i don't even care, about the way i feel today
because it changes anyway
something will make me cry or smile
another picture on my pile
now i'm standing close to you
it's just something that i do
when i need love to be enough
i wish love could be enough
cuz there is nothing more appealing
than the thought that i could be enough
do you find solace in the sun
do you consider life as one
do you believe there is a limit
to how fast a man can run
someone said you're born alive
well i don't feel that alive
no i don't feel that alive
i don't feel that alive
now i'm standing close to you
it's just something that i do
when i need love to be enough
i wish love could be enough
cuz there is nothing more appealing
than the thought that i could be enough...enough
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[Saturday
August 17th, 2002 at 8:08pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
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music |
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BT - Sunblind |
] |
untitled #209,753
you say not to cry, but how can i not?
destiny's scarred a life without a second thought
i'll never know things i should have known
never have something i wanted for my very own
aching for sweet kisses that were never there
drowning in myself, life's never fair
it changes nothing yet changes it all
when this all began, i never imagined i'd fall
please don't run, you're safe within my arms
let me shelter you from further harm
it's still no different when i look in your eyes
i still know that i know what forever looks like
don't be afraid, don't push me away
show me that you really mean what you say
when you say 'i love you'
because i do.
saturday august 17 2002 20:07
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[Monday
July 1st, 2002 at 11:37pm] |
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mood |
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 thoughtful |
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music |
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Space Girl - Pure Energy |
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Try my sun.
So alive without a tale.
...
Now is not now, already forgotten.
Where do the myths come from but desire.
-Sabrina Faith-
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[Wednesday
June 26th, 2002 at 2:06am] |
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mood |
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thoughtful |
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music |
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BT - Deeper Sunshine |
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You're the sugar in my bloodstream
The writing on my wall
You're the reasons I want to hate people
And the reasons I love them all
You're the essence of my breathlessness
The tears upon my cheek
You're the passion when I'm dominating
And the coyness when I'm meek
You're everything I wish I could be
And everything I'm glad I'm not
You're all the things I want to remember
And those that I'm glad I forgot
wednesday june 26 2002 02:05
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[Sunday
June 23rd, 2002 at 4:33am] |
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mood |
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thoughtful |
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music |
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Alice Deejay - Better Off Alone |
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sometimes I really wish you were here with me
i wish i could love you, hold you
i wish you weren't a million miles away
even when i'm around you
i wish you'd see how great we could be
i wish i could just touch you
have you tell me it will all be okay
that nothing can hurt me now
for that split second
i wish you could make me unsad
:(
june 23 2002 04:32
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| Barely Breathing (Duncan Sheik) |
[Friday
June 21st, 2002 at 8:59am] |
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mood |
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thoughtful |
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music |
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Duncan Sheik - Barely Breathing |
] |
Barely Breathing
-Duncan Sheik-
I know what you’re doing, I see it all too clear
I only taste the saline when I kiss away your tears
You really had me going, wishing on a star
But the black holes that surround you are heavier by far
I believed in your confusion, you were so completely torn
Well it must have been that yesterday was the day that I was born
There’s not much to examine, there’s nothing left to hide
You really can’t be serious if you have to ask me why
I say good-bye...
Cuz I am barely breathing
And I can’t find the air
I don’t know who I’m kidding
Imagining you care
And I could stand here waiting
A fool for another day
But I don’t suppose it’s worth the price, worth the price
The price that I would pay
Everyone keeps asking, what’s it all about?
I used to be so certain and I can’t figure out
What is this attraction? I only feel the pain
There’s nothing left to reason and only you to blame
Will it ever change?
Cuz I am barely breathing
And I can’t find the air
I don’t know who I’m kidding
Imagining you care
And I could stand here waiting
A fool for another day
But I don’t suppose it’s worth the price, worth the price
The price that I would pay
But I’m thinking it over anyway...
I’ve come to find
I may never know
Your changing mind
Is it friend or foe?
I rise above
Or sink below
With every time
You come and go
Please don’t come and go
Cuz I am barely breathing
And I can’t find the air
I don’t know who I’m kidding
Imagining you care
And I could stand here waiting
A fool for another day
But I don’t suppose it’s worth the price, worth the price
The price that I would pay
But I’m thinking it over anyway...
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[Wednesday
May 29th, 2002 at 11:56pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
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music |
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Noemi - In My Dreams (XXL Mix) |
] |
good night moon
good night stars
please let me stop thinking
about everything you are
turn out those bright burning orbs
hanging up above my tired head
i don't want to think about it
as i stumble into bed
pull the plug on my thoughts
pull the stars from my eyes
let me have a little peace
before i start to cry
god please send some clouds
to cover up the painful night sky
please, let me have a little peace
before i start to cry
wednesday may 29 2002 11:55
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[Wednesday
May 22nd, 2002 at 10:53pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
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music |
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AK1200 - The Maytrix |
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when you're leaving
when you're leaving
everything you hear
sounds like a going away song
even if you're not
really leaving
for very long
when you're leaving
everything someone says
sounds like a last goodbye
and everytime they move
their lips, it makes
you want to cry
when you're leaving
every hug feels like
the last you will ever feel
it doesn't really matter if it's
in your head; to you,
it's real
when you're leaving
there's nothing you can do
to somehow calm your heart
nothing you can do
to stop it from just
ripping apart
wednesday may 22, 2002 10:52
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[Wednesday
May 22nd, 2002 at 8:07pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
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music |
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Vertical Horizon - Everything You Want |
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I am everything you want/I am everything you need/I am everything inside of you that you wish you could be/I say all the right things/At exactly the right time/But I mean nothing to you/And I don't know why
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| for Timothy, George, Shea, and Jenny |
[Monday
May 20th, 2002 at 2:58am] |
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mood |
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sad |
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music |
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Lay Down Burden -Brian Wilson- |
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doorways
i told myself i wouldn't cry
when i said farewell, my friend
but it's so hard to say goodbye
to watch one life begin and one life end
you've been a shelter in my storms
a beacon in my night
you've shown yourself in many forms
helped me find my own light
i would have been so lost without you
without a place to hide my fears
you've made me love everything about you
and been someone to wipe away my tears
you've been my sunshine through all my rain
you've saved me from myself more times than i can count
you've rescued me from my torturous pain
picked me up from the deepest depths of self-doubt
without you, this wouldn't have been possible at all
i'd still be wallowing in my broken-hearted despair
you've been my safety net everytime i've started to fall
you've been just, kind-hearted, and fair
just remember everytime you walk out of a door
you're walking into another one, it's true
and anytime i get close to hitting the proverbial floor
don't forget me when i'm gone, for i will never forget you
monday may 20, 2002 02:55
for Timothy, George, Shea, and Jenny
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[Saturday
May 18th, 2002 at 1:46am] |
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mood |
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sad |
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music |
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Random Mix CD |
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reruns
how can someone still be your everything
and yet be your nothing at all?
how can you think you'll never care again
and yet see them and constantly fall?
how can anyone be so heartless?
how can anyone be so lame?
how can anyone see that look in your eyes
and not see the never-dying flame?
nothing false ever lasts forever
you can only fake it for so long
when can i actually know i'm over it
and stop just trying to be strong?
Saturday May 18, 2002 01:45
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[Saturday
May 18th, 2002 at 1:31am] |
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mood |
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sad |
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music |
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Random Mix CD |
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The Road Not Taken
-Robert Frost-
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening
-Robert Frost-
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
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[Monday
May 6th, 2002 at 11:32pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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I Turn To You -Mel C- |
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Sorry I haven't been posting here, everyone... I've been busy and haven't written anything lately. :-/
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[Friday
April 19th, 2002 at 5:34am] |
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mood |
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sad |
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music |
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Nocturnal Trasmission -BT- |
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like this? i haven't always been
a naive girl thrown into a life of sin
sweet and innocent until one day
her hedonistic side came out to play
after years of hearing she's a fat ugly cow
she'd prove them all wrong, some way, some how
so she ventured into the dark scary world
our tender naive sweet little girl
now here she is, self-esteem gone
she hasn't even been 'her' that long
ups and downs, overs and unders
skies of blue and clouds of thunder
she's lost, alone, shattered, unloved
praying for swift death from high above
and i hope the world never has to see
what it's like having to be me
Friday April 19, 2002 05:33
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[Wednesday
April 17th, 2002 at 12:39am] |
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mood |
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 bored |
] |
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music |
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Some Trance CD |
] |
Who I Am
I am a broken angel
My tattered wings unfold
I am a shattered child
With a fractured soul so old
I am a tarnished Goddess
Knocked down to my knees
I am a scorched and charred forest
Full of blackened trees
I am a lifeless ragdoll
Tossed aside without a thought
I am a sack of the spoils of war
My heart the reminder of why it was fought
I am a disgraced princess
Exiled to a far away Hell
I am a plague of grave misfortune
For which great empires fell
I am a wreckage of a female
With a ruined resolve
Yes I am the painful missing link
That all of these involve
*~*Alithium*~*
Sunday, January 27, 2002 6:18 p.m.
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[Monday
April 15th, 2002 at 4:13am] |
| [ |
mood |
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restless |
] |
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music |
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Breathe -Faith Hill- |
] |
i started to write a poem about you
but i couldn't even find the words
no matter what combinations of letters i tried
nothing could live up to the standards
i wish i could sing your praises in the orchards
open my heart to your beautiful eyes
collapse in your sympathetic arms
and just let go of all my lies
i wish i ponder i think i question
i wonder how it would feel to be
lost completely, safe eternally
tangled and wrapped up in you and me
i wish i were able to touch you
disable all my defenses
live in the moment, that single second
and drop any pretenses
i wish there were way to alleviate my longing
i wish you'd say you'll stay
i wish my heart would stop wishing
i wish you weren't so far away
*~*Alithium*~*
Monday April 15, 2002 04:11
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[Sunday
April 14th, 2002 at 4:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 creative |
] |
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music |
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We're Nothing Without You -The Juliana Theory- |
] |
I care more than I should
More than a simple person would
I should just end everything for good
Much harder things I have withstood
My annoyance is apparent
My thoughts hardly coherent
My veil of civility is transparent
I won't believe myself errant
Why do I even care at all?
My heart has all but come to a stall
Voices in my head warned me not to fall
And I haven't; not that I can recall
Friendships are hurt by problems like this
Cast out into a bottomless abyss
I won't allow myself to reminisce
Icy and shivering, I live my twisted bliss
He's right, I know, but I still don't cease
Failure is no option, with loss I find no peace
I will not lose, my pace will only increase
Until I find a sweet release...
*~*Alithium*~*
February 2, 2002 3:30 a.m.
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taintedecstasy's journal